- Make sure to listen to each person’s side of things without judgment. This gives each person an opportunity to feel heard and appreciated throughout the discussion. One way to do this is to allow the person to finish his/her thoughts before you decide to make any comments.
- Each person’s comments should be acknowledged and taken into consideration in the discussion.
- Personal hurts from the past should not be used as personal insults in a disagreement.
- If breaks from the discussion are needed these should be established up front with each party as to how these would be utilized during a discussion e.g. one person can give a signal or hand jester and this means that person needs a break for a certain period of time. You would take that break and then immediately reconvene to finish the discussion in a calm manner.
- If you come at an impasse, then compromise and come to a decision or decide who is going to make the final decision when this occurs. Trust your spouse’s decision even if it ends up being the wrong decision because this will help strengthen overall trust in the relationship.
- Absolutely no violence in any discussion e.g. hitting, throwing objects, punching walls, etc.
By Karma Brownlee Limon